Escaping to Ibiza, girls’ nights out, overpriced activities… What looks like a perfect weekend can turn out to be a hen party (hen party). They are responsible for organizing an unforgettable weekend, must comply with the demands of the bride or groom, chase late payments and manage guests who are sometimes too pushy, other times absent. For them, organizing a hen party that is memorable and at the same time affordable has become synonymous with psychological pressure.
This is the case of Pauline, who was 28 years old when her cousin appointed her as a wedding witness. The first time for a young woman who, alongside the future bride’s sister, is also responsible for organizing her bachelorette party. A flattering role, a desire to please, but very quickly… the pressure that comes. “The guest list included people close to the bride from a variety of backgrounds: family, high school friends, childhood friends… We very quickly put everyone together in an online messaging group. Some responded immediately, others almost non-existent. I quickly understood that I was going to have a bad role, that I was going to trigger people again until I had all the answers,” recalls the 20-year-old.
“We all had a different idea of a bride”
A weekend on the Ile de Ré is planned for the future bride and her ten guests. If it looks organizationally simple on paper, in reality Pauline had to bend over backwards to give the impression of the main person concerned. “I didn’t tell him about our troubles, either during or after the bachelor party. The problem was that we all had different pictures of the bride, which complicated the organization. » When some suggest a trip abroad, others warn against a small budget. And while some suggest sports activity, others are against it. “Originally we wanted to organize a boat trip but some people weren’t up to it, even though it suited the bride perfectly,” says Pauline. “Then someone was responsible for organizing the sporting activity, but in the end it never got around to it. Finally, the two witnesses ordered a bike tour around the island: “With the date approaching, we had no choice.”
Pauline has to reserve this activity and therefore advance money for everyone. “For my part, I’ve been pretty lucky. He was my cousin, the second witness, who had to wait to rent accommodation after transfers from some. When a person is behind on payments, we have the impression that it is not a big deal, but for the person who is late, it is an amount. »
Budget at the heart of conflicts
For Gabrielle*, a 30-year-old Parisian, the budget was also at the heart of a very good friend’s bachelorette party. “If our first report set the framework for the weekend, nothing was set in stone. We were open to any proposal,” he recalls. Most of the guests were very quick to agree to the idea of a weekend by the sea, except for the bride’s sisters. “They let us know that it was an ambitious project and reminded us of their family background: ‘We can’t afford to leave with the children for two nights for logistical and economic reasons.’ We weren’t there to judge the budget, although on paper they were the best off guests. So we started making compromises. » A two-night on-site weekend is changed to a one-night weekend, the originally selected rental is exchanged for a closer accommodation to reduce transportation costs, and the spa activity is removed from the list.
“But it was never enough,” Gabrielle continues. “The bride’s sisters called us ‘bourgeois.’ Here relations with the rest of the group deteriorated. Until they told us that they wouldn’t go over €50 per person per weekend. » As a result, some guests got more money than others for a short night by the sea. The budget was still insufficient: “In the end, none of our original ideas were preserved”, regrets Gabrielle. “In the end, we stayed with a friend of the bride, who lived a few kilometers from the main applicant. We played paintball in the afternoon before going out to dinner at the bride’s favorite restaurant and then came home to make an evening of it without spending any money,” says Gabrielle, who reckons the memorable weekend could be organized without “going out big ticket. “.
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Looking back, Gabrielle regrets pleasing the bride’s sisters rather than the bride herself, “but because of their position we felt obligated to include them,” she believes. If given the opportunity to present herself, she would not hesitate to turn down the role unless it was a member of her family or an extremely close friend. Pauline retains a significant psychological burden from such an event and cannot imagine repeating it anytime soon. If the young woman ended up enjoying the moment and pleasing her boyfriend, she also remembered making numerous phone calls to her mother to relieve stress. If organizing a bachelor party may seem ridiculous compared to a wedding, she confides: “I had no idea what it was all about. »